|
Post by snowpelt on Apr 21, 2007 18:13:27 GMT -5
Name: Snowpaw
Age: 6 moons
Appearance: Snowpaw is a pure white cat. Her pelt dangles down almost sweeping the ground as she walks. She is a long hair. Her eyes are a crystla blue. The are the color of the morning sky but tinted icy. The young she-cat has a tiny nose. Also white mixing in. You could never tell from her long hair but on her chest there is a small grey spot. Her tail is long and flowing.
Personality: Snowpaw is quiet. She doesnt talk unless she needs to. She listens a great deal and always makes sure she has the right information. She watches closely. She quiet intelligent and clever. She is swift and sly and can by fast.
History: Long ago 2 cats were in love. They werent from same clans. one from solar one from moon. They had a litter of kittens. 3 small helpless. Snowkit was the only one to servive the harsh winter that year. Her mother also didnt make it. At Snowkit's birth she died from loss of heat. She was to cold. Her father couldnt take her and so she was nursed by another queen.
|
|
|
Post by ღFoxspiritღ on Apr 23, 2007 16:40:57 GMT -5
Very nice! But there are a few mild, and major corrections: Connect some of your sentences a little more to make it more smooth, and flowing- especially in your history. You forgot to add clan, rank, and other details. I can see you didn't copy the information from the cat description list which you need to do before making a bio and don't forget to post it HERE on a separate thread. Admins will move your cat's bio to the clan they are placed in. ^^ And Welcome Snowpelt!
|
|